why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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