hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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