Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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