Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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