Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
