Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
