Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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