You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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