Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize