U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
