you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize