i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
