Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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