guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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