I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
