You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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