He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
