So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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