Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
