Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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