And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
