since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
