Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm too high and old for this...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
