anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
