Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts

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  (703): i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts http://tfl.nu/gdmu
  Replies (13) Good night (2624) Bad night (594)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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  (804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1rpm
  Replies (9) Good night (3473) Bad night (885)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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  (201): Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants. http://tfl.nu/zw7z
  Replies (14) Good night (3555) Bad night (1785)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.

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  (828): my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty. http://tfl.nu/rhpp
  Replies (29) Good night (7172) Bad night (1066)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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  (910): Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now. http://tfl.nu/pjno
  Replies (9) Good night (539) Bad night (2028)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea

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  (651): Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea http://tfl.nu/mdyc
  Replies (14) Good night (849) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.

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  (+44): So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went. http://tfl.nu/a2g3
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (918)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER

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  (434): I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER http://tfl.nu/0nk8
  Replies (13) Good night (1664) Bad night (637)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1036) Bad night (974)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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  (303): New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later... http://tfl.nu/qijg
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (278)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me

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  (816): Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me http://tfl.nu/m080
  Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (306)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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  (719): I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch. http://tfl.nu/zn95
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

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  (705): So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that. http://tfl.nu/fs4o
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.

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  (705): His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband. http://tfl.nu/yqll
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (388)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"

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  (732): oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer" http://tfl.nu/l0xj
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (178)

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