Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It smells like weed.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.

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  (303): It smells like weed. (720): We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed. http://tfl.nu/w4bb
  Replies (41) Good night (3962) Bad night (637)
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  (707): View more from California

  Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.

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  (707): Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman. http://tfl.nu/1yjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3431) Bad night (671)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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  (604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh
  Replies (73) Good night (1342) Bad night (17685)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.

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  (908): my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue. http://tfl.nu/njsp
  Replies (20) Good night (3984) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.

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  (626): i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner. http://tfl.nu/vo3h
  Replies (32) Good night (3612) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  fuck your aforementioned shoe

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  (760): fuck your aforementioned shoe http://tfl.nu/6ubu
  Replies (27) Good night (4572) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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  (414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6
  Replies (32) Good night (7172) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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  (650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8
  Replies (6) Good night (7573) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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  (251): Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call. http://tfl.nu/u2ur
  Replies (8) Good night (1372) Bad night (4152)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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  (716): Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon. http://tfl.nu/t979
  Replies (41) Good night (8599) Bad night (2646)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.

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  (270): I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles. http://tfl.nu/5ga0
  Replies (13) Good night (3254) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  So. How about you can get tequila certified...

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  (478): So. How about you can get tequila certified... http://tfl.nu/1yln
  Replies (1) Good night (764) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (897) Bad night (1309)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

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  (608): Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles? (1-608): Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat http://tfl.nu/wmfp
  Replies (3) Good night (738) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room

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  (780): You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room http://tfl.nu/9izd
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (542)

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