You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high