gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.