she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet