awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection