he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.