five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...