Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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