There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
