I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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