Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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