sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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