I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
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Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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