so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
