I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
