i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
