Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you win again, gameday.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
