were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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