You can't special order awesome
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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