I'm jealous of your bromance
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
even my farts smell like vagina
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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