New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
