Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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