when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
