Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need a beard to bite.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
