I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize