he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
