R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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