In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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