Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
