ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
try to milk me bitch
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize