dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
