you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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