the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
tell me about the fingering
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