guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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