Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
