I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
