hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
