I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
