Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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