im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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