i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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