We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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