Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
