puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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