Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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