i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
