I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
