Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
