Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
