sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
